From Kleinberg’s oven all the way to Tel Aviv
Both hot and sticky, giving reason to believe
From that very first moment when everything looked rough
Eighty years later he’s not yet had enough

It began in a flash with Carl and his wife Alice
Edinburgh the place, first born but no palace
Left at the corners of hope and redemption
A wee sister came along who required little protection

Sixteen years later, and enough was enough
A failure at school and never close to being a toff
Leah and Minnie, her sidekick with fags
Trying to help Jack and his passion for bags

But Carl wasn’t interested, so to the bookies he fled
Telling Jack to get out, oh, and to make up his bed
“Get a job, one that’s good, don’t end up like me”
And so off Jack went into the world, at last he was free

Well he tried and he tried finding jobs that he hated
Then met a woman called Joyce who he liked and then dated
Their love led to marriage and then to much more
Giving birth to three kids, although Joyce wanted four

There was Alan and Ruth and Barbara at the end
One was the favorite though on what day it depends
Living in Glasgow and in a very small house too
Needing not too much and depending on very few

A business, now there’s a thought and one that Jack started
Simon, his partner and brother in waters yet uncharted
Clydepak was born and successful it became
Leaving Jack to appreciate his life before fame

All around Scotland and then to the Far East
Hong Kong and China, Jack was taming the beast
George and Ringo and Paul, were not the Beatles
Just three ordinary blokes but really good people

Exploring with the family, to Europe and beyond
Some places he hated and of some he was fond
Then suddenly struck with an idea to move south
To London, with nothing but guile and his mouth

Another new adventure, this time no disguise
His passion was lit and a fire that burned in his eyes
New clients, new friends and another new start
Perfect beginning with his son, he did chart

Twenty employees at one point far too many
Costing him more than his sanity and a penny
Deciding after ten long years this was it
“Alan”, he said, “it’s time for me to quit!”

But what would he do and where would he go
Joyce wanted the pleasure of running the show
Israel beckoned but not as a preference
More of a holiday filled with much decadence

“I’m staying,” he said, after learning the lingo
Joyce said, “piss off, this is not Jacks home bingo
She wanted London and he really didn’t care
It boiled down to a coin toss and several eerie stares

In the end there was compromise of sorts so I think
One day it was great and then often it would stink
But his 60th came and then went in a flash
70 was next as Jack accumulated more cash

Property, always property, he splashed out every year
Buying up buildings with out question or fear
Placing all of his trust into bricks and to mortar
A portfolio from everywhere except the wee town of Forfar

And with grandkids now married or seemingly older
His visitations to London got shorter and shorter
With Joyce in decline and with no place to hide
Back to the UK he came to be by her side

Parted at dawn, as God came to collect
Jack looked to the heavens with some regrets but much respect
Praying hard as she left him to continue her journey
He remembered their life, which was always quite homely

Now on his own and approaching his eighties
Looking to his grandchildren to provide him with babies
A great grandfather he wants and one day he will become
With nothing but bottles and more dirty bums

Well here all we are and tomorrow we will go
Passing a huge birthday and then on with his show
Jack can be proud to be a man who became successful
Not the punk he once playing out a dress rehearsal

When he looks back all these years to 1934
Lucky to have had chances and then even more
Would he ever have dreamed that this day would be possible
That’s he’s still very alive and not some old fossil

Good wishes we bring from all over our planet
Not just from me, Ruth or Barbara God Damn It!!
From everyone you know who are all still alive
Happy birthday to Jack and here’s to making eighty five!